Before You Sign Up For Piano Lessons

As a parent of four children, I have often gotten excited about the idea of doing or trying something without engaging my kids in discussion about their thoughts and preferences.  Many times, we have to make decisions about certain activities without talking with our kids because it is a financial burden or it just simply won't work in the schedule.  But when we have the flexibility of time and we are able to work within our budget for these fun activities, it is to everyone's benefit to dialogue about what this activity will entail for everyone involved.

My husband and I recently sat down with our son who absolutely loves playing soccer.  He expressed a strong interest in a local soccer league in our city, but before we signed up and paid in full, we invited him to dialogue about the expectations.

Why was this particular league so important to him?
Did he know that his soccer schedule affects everyone in our family?
Was he willing to give up other fun activities in order to solely pursue this one?
Was he willing to help out even more around the house, since we would be spending more time driving him to practices and games?

We knew this was important to our son, but we also needed him to understand the sacrifices we are making for his benefit, because we want to help him pursue his passions.  However, we needed him to understand what we need in return for the time the rest of the family is investing.

How does this relate to piano lessons?

How many parents have great intentions and plans for their kids? Almost every single one of us falls into this category.  But before signing up for lessons, ask your child what their expectations are.

Do they know that playing piano requires practice almost daily?
Do they understand the sacrifice of time and money that you will be making for them to pursue this activity?  In turn, what will they agree to do to show their commitment?
Is there an agreed upon time frame, a trial period, to see if this arrangement is working or needs adjusting?

If these expectations are not discussed ahead of time, you may be setting yourself up for a nightmare experience.  The worst case scenario is that your child hates music lessons!  Parents with good intentions sometimes forget to check in with their kids to see if this is something they would like to pursue for themselves, not simply because the parent wishes he/she had taken lessons as a child and will make sure their child doesn't "miss out" like they did.

Forcing someone to learn music is not beneficial for anyone involved:  the student, the parent, and the teacher.  There are times, of course, when our children don't want to practice or fulfill their commitment to a particular event or activity.  But holding our kids accountable to keeping their word or commitment is completely different than forcing our children to participate in something they did not ask to be part of.

Engage your child and see if taking piano lessons is his/her passion before making that call, and then discuss the expectations so there are no surprises.  This will bring peace of mind to you and your child.  And who doesn't benefit from a little peace of mind?
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music touches their souls

"Music is an outburst of the soul."  --Frederick Delius

If Frederick Delius can express his love for music as an "outburst of the soul," I wonder what language children would choose to describe how music affects them.  Even with limited ability to self-reflect in younger childhood, kids are still able to use language to express their enjoyment of music.  When I listen to certain songs from childhood, I often find myself unable to even sing the words because the emotional attachment to the music is so strong and moving.  Music can be a healing balm to our souls.  

And I personally believe this is true with children.  Just like full grown adults, children are multidimensional beings with the ability to experience deep feelings related to symphonic sounds, even if they are unable to put words to those feelings--yet.  Let's remember to listen to various types of music with our children and to not only engage them on what they are hearing, but to ask what feelings may arise or pictures they might be seeing in their mind's eye as a result.  Children may not be as emotionally and intellectually developed as adults; but they are still soulful beings with the ability to feel and experience life, even music, in a deep and profound way.

May our souls experience many outbursts today!

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The First Two Minutes of the Lesson

When I first began teaching piano lessons as a freshman in college, I was merely trying to pay my bills and not starve.  I enjoyed giving lessons, but I was pursuing a degree in sociology because I loved learning about people--how they think, how they make decisions, how their families of origin play a role in who they become.  As I pursued my career as a clinical social worker, I had forgotten all about teaching music.  And then after being married for a few years, our babies came--four of them in 6 years--and I realized that I not only wanted to help support my young family, but I also wanted to do something I thoroughly enjoyed.

And then I remembered how much I had enjoyed teaching piano.  What came as a complete surprise is just how intricately connected my social work training has positively influenced my work as a piano teacher.  When children arrive for their lessons, they are usually coming directly from school or another fun activity.  As parents, we are so used to taking our kids from one activity to the next, forgetting that they need transition time in order to give their best and learn at a higher level (I am just as guilty of this as every well-intentioned parent).

And this is where I believe my connection with my students goes deeper.  These first short minutes of transition meets them in the moment of where they are.  Students will often share about something difficult that happened at school, a teacher who is being unkind to them, a test that they aced, or even an award they received.  Listening to whatever is on their mind seems to help them to unload their busy thoughts and opens them up to learning piano.

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Set Them Free To Keep Growing

Growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who do not. When I see a person beginning to separate themselves from the pack, it's almost always due to personal growth. 
{John C. Maxwell}

It is so fun getting that initial phone call from an excited parent, hoping to get their child into piano lessons.  They have seen their young one delightfully explore the piano, and the possibility of having a musician in the family creates joyful anticipation.  I enjoy setting up that first consultation, because that is when I can see exactly where this child is at in their desire and ability level.  There have been times, however, when I realize in the course of our visit or maybe even after several months or years of lessons, that this child needs something beyond my ability and training.  One such student began with me back in February.  She eagerly learned and practiced all that I set before her.  Around lesson 3 or 4, I realized that she was also a singer with remarkable pitch for a 6 year old.  I explained to her mother that while I was happy to continue working with her daughter, I knew she would eventually outgrow me.  She would thrive under someone who could train her to both sing and play music together.  This sweet mother said she was not ready to take that step, but I did give her the name of another teacher in the area to consider contacting at a later time, who would be able to add this dimension to her daughter's music journey.

I believe that every piano teacher provides unique offerings to their students, but it is necessary for teachers to continually self-assess whether they are the best fit in each student's learning season. Referring students out when they have outgrown my teaching is freeing on both sides; I am able to acknowledge the the level and success I helped my student achieve during their time with me, but then it is also freeing to let the student go and show that growth and change is absolutely natural and beneficial not only as it relates to piano, but in every life pursuit.










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Music To My Ears

One of my favorite questions from parents is:  "Is it okay if my child plays around on the piano, just for fun?"  And I always answer with an enthusiastic, "Absolutely!"  Of course I want students to complete their theory homework and work consistently on their finger exercises; but what a TREAT to hear that the students are using their own free time to either make up their own melodies, or are simply exploring their pianos.  In my experience, those who spend time playing on the piano "just for fun" are those whose curiosity actually takes them to higher levels of learning, in their musical journey.  

Free Consultation: 3 Reasons NOT To Skip It!

When a parent contacts me to get more information about starting piano lessons for their child or teenager, I always emphasize the free initial consultation available to them before deciding to move forward.  I do this for three reasons.

Peace of Mind for Mom/Dad

I try to put myself in your shoes.  As a parent, I know the importance of meeting any stranger who claims to be an expert at anything; but I am especially interested in a face-to-face introduction when the situation involves my children.  I know that setting up that meeting will give you the chance to see if you feel comfortable with me working with your child.  

When meeting with a teacher for the first time, the parent should feel that their questions are welcomed and that their involvement is encouraged in the process of helping their child on the journey of music education.

Comfort Level For Your Child/Teen

While it is most important for the parent to feel comfortable with the piano teacher working with their child, the next issue to be addressed is the comfort level of your child.  

• Does your child seem to feel at ease talking with me?  
• Is your child able to express what he/she would like to learn without feeling afraid of speaking their mind?
• Does he/she seem to feel comfortable in the environment?
• Is the teacher able to provide the kind of instruction that works best with your child's learning ability?

While the parent may be thrilled about a particular teacher, it is essential for the child to feel the same level of comfort (if not more) since he or she will be spending the most time with that teacher.  You want to maximize their desire to pursue music - connection with the teacher is of utmost importance.

Is It A Good Fit All Around?

This free initial consultation gives me, as the potential teacher, time to assess whether your child is ready for piano lessons, whether he or she is able to comprehend and move forward at a pace that will help them experience success.  

What I'm looking for is a child who is ready and motivated to learn - but motivation comes in different forms.  Some children are motivated by being able to choose a favorite song to learn, while others are motivated by learning how to do ear training rather than sight reading right off the bat.  There may even be a child whose motivation needs to be discovered by both parent and teacher.  

What you are also looking for is whether I'm the best teacher for your child's learning style.  The worst thing any one can possibly do is to a child's musical journey is to kill the desire to learn it at all.  This is why setting up an initial consultation is so critical in assessing these areas - ultimately for the benefit and success for your child's musical experience!

3 Common Misconceptions About Piano Lessons for Children

As parents, we desire to give our children the best of everything, don't we?  

But while our intentions are good in giving our children wonderful life experiences, sometimes we forget to ask the question:  Is this what is best for my child at this time?  OR Is this something I am wanting them to have for my benefit more than what is truly beneficial to them?

I have met with many wonderful families, with children who are excited to begin the journey of learning piano lessons.  They arrive with great big eyes as they look at the piano, wondering what they will learn to play.  Their parents walk in with big smiles, in anticipation of sitting and listening to their future little Mozart, play beautiful pieces on the piano.

Common Misconception #1: They Don't Need To Practice To Learn To Play Piano

One thing I always ask the child during that free initial consultation is:  Do you play video games?  And the answer is pretty much always a yes.  I can see that my question is a bit intriguing....why would the piano teacher care about video games?!  I go on to explain that a lot of time and practice go into playing games - video games, sports teams, or any other activity that is important.  The main idea being we only improve and go to the next level if we're willing to take the time to practice!  The parent usually sits in the background listening to this conversation, either smiling or nodding in agreement.

The child agrees with this philosophy, once they realize that hard work is not just reserved for school and house chores.  Hard work goes into anything we desire to get better at.  And so while they are young and do not fully understand what this entails for piano, they nod in agreement and they are excited about what may lie ahead.

In the next few weeks to follow this initial talk, one of two

things happen with each student.  

1. The child embraces the hard work, reaps the reward of moving forward, and enjoys piano.
2. The child is discouraged by the work it takes to move forward, gives up, and would rather pick weeds than sit through another lesson.

It is at this point that I wait and watch to see what happens.  

Cycle of Discouragement

One of the hardest things for children to understand is how to get un-stuck in a situation they feel trapped in.  With regard to piano lessons, the child might work really hard in the lesson and become encouraged by their progress as a result.  However, when they go home, they don't practice for a variety of reasons.  They return the following week to their lesson, having regressed back further than they remembered.  So, they sulk and sigh during the lesson, frustrated at having to spend the entire lesson working on what they already worked on last week!  In essence, they give up.  They don't see any hope of moving forward, and so they go home and find reasons not to practice. Thus, the cycle continues.  Discouragement leads to not practicing which leads to not progressing week after week, etc.

Common Misconception #2:  The Teacher Should Motivate My Child To Practice

This is a crucial time:  how the child and parent(s) address this conflict will help determine what direction the child should and will take in his/her musical journey.

When this happens, parents will do one of three things:

1. Blame the teacher for not motivating their child to want to practice.
2. Punish and/or guilt trip the child for not practicing.
3. Brainstorm ideas with the teacher and child to figure out how to move forward.

We are all aware that children come in all different unique shapes, sizes, ideas, learning styles, communication abilities, and insight.  What is fast learning for one child is extremely slow learning for another.  What stimulates one will not necessarily stimulate another.  Why do I bring up this obvious point?  Well, because children are also motivated by different factors.  

The relationship between the teacher and student is important and not to be ignored.  The chid may have a genuine interest in learning piano, but maybe he needs a male teacher who has a specialty in teaching cool jazz improvisations.  If the child seems unmotivated, you may start by asking how comfortable the child is with his/her teacher and if they enjoy the lesson time together.  A teacher who truly desires for every student to pursue the best musical path individually will completely understand if you decide to find a better match for your child.  It's not personal - it's a decision to find the option (teacher, in this case) that best meets the needs for your child's musical journey.

Another factor to consider is whether the child needs more variety in the type of music he/she is learning or whether the lesson time needs to have more movement and transitions due to a shorter attention span or a need for more stimulation.

My favorite option listed above is for the three parties involved to sit down together and discuss what is and isn't working in the lessons.  If either the child or parent do not feel comfortable even addressing these issues with the teacher, then this is not a good working relationship.  It is time for you to move on.

Common Misconception #3:  Forcing My Child To Learn Piano Will Eventually Pay Off

Sometimes parents are so determined that their child will learn piano, that they forget one important factor:  the child's enjoyment of this activity.  I'm not saying that if the child has a difficult lesson or a rough week that you should instantly pull them out of piano lessons.

However, I would not recommend forcing a child to continue in lessons if they are really resistant, week after week, especially if they are younger children.  Taking piano lessons -- or any musical instrument -- should be enjoyable.  The child should look forward to just sitting and playing the instrument for fun, and will be proud of sharing their latest accomplishment with others.  This doesn't mean that the child will love every single minute of their piano experience.  Overall, the excitement and feeling of accomplishment, in addition to the desire to move further ahead, will outweigh the frustration and difficulty that occurs in different pieces of music.  This is how you'll know if they are in it for the long haul.

Forcing a child to stay in something merely because "it's good for them" or because you "wish someone had forced me to take piano lessons" are not good reasons.  When kids have shown great resistance, I have encouraged parents to come up with an agreement with an end date.

For example, the parents might give the child 6 months to stay in piano, and to do their part (practicing, progressing, participating in the recital, etc.), and then at the end of that time period, the child will receive some kind of reward for their hard work. In addition, the parent and child agree that at that 6-month-mark, they will reevaluate whether this is what the child wants to continue pursuing or if they are ready to move on to the next adventure.  It's a win-win for everyone involved.

The more the child is able to participate in taking ownership of what he/she is participating in, the more likely he/she will be able to discern what it is they really want to learn and go after it wholeheartedly.

If you're interested in setting up a free initial consultation to see if your child is ready for piano lessons, please feel free to contact me at blessednichols@gmail.com.

Have You Thought About Your Child's Musical Learning Style?

Children are unique learners, and should be treated with kindness and respect when approaching their particular learning style.  

Some students come in ready to start their lesson, ready to set their books on the piano, finding their hand position to begin playing.  These are my more reserved and introverted students, who feel the most comfortable expressing themselves through music.  

Other students come in, with a sheet of paper in hand, explaining that they couldn't wait to share the music they composed that week.  Could they please, please, please play their music before we start the lesson?!  These are my students who not only love learning about how to read and play music, but they are most fulfilled when given the freedom and encouragement to create something from nothing.  

In yet another way, there are those students who thrive first from making a personal connection with the teacher before moving on to music.  They enjoy sharing about the rough day they had at school, or the upcoming performance they have been rehearsing for, or even the hard test they had to take.  These are my students who want to know that they are valued as a person and understood, before they can focus their attention on mastering their music.

Additionally, there are students who come in from the very first lesson, asking every kind of question about music they can think of.  They are eager to learn, they practice constantly without being asked, because they live and breathe music.  These students are unique not only in their desire for music, but in their ability to comprehend it very quickly. 

My other students come in eager to learn the music, but they don't allow themselves the time and space to make mistakes.  They want to sit down and play a piece of music perfectly, the first time,  and become frustrated with themselves for actually needing to practice.  They sometimes want to give up because practicing seems overwhelming and too hard.  But with enough encouragement, and focused practice time, these are my students who produce masterful pieces, and a great deal of it is done from pure memory.

Should I Force My Child To Have Piano Lessons?

In the past, I've worked with children who were brought in for piano lessons, but they had absolutely no desire to take piano lessons.  Maybe dad promised a certain reward for sticking it out.  Or maybe mom was pushing her own desire for piano lessons and living vicariously through her child.  This is a set up for failure for the child, placing him or her in a situation where they have no desire to be successful, because this is mom or dad's passion, not theirs.

In these types of situations, I will work with the child for a time to see if he/she truly want to be there.  If the child continues to resist, then there are one of two possibilities taking place:  the child is just not ready at this time, or it is not a good fit between child and teacher.  When this occurs, I gently bring the parents in and explore these options.  In most cases, they will end up discontinuing piano lessons.  I would rather have a child try another teacher that may be a better fit, or stop lessons during this season of his/her little life.  As a teacher, the last thing I ever want to do is to force music on a child and potentially squash all desire to ever learn music ever again.

To put it simply, forcing a child to take piano lessons may be preventing them from excelling in something they truly desire to pursue and grow in.

Every child comes with a certain personality, and it would be unfair to say that one learning style is superior to another.  The accountant has a different gift than the math teacher.  Both have mathematical talent, but each one uses his or her gift in a completely different way.  

I invite you to contact me at 626.533.7712 or by email to set up a FREE consultation for you and your child to see if my teaching style is a good match for your child's musical learning style.

Speedy Review

This past summer, I did a little experiment with my students.  I spent part of our lesson each week reviewing the notes for both bass and treble clefs.  I wanted to make it interesting, so I decided to time their progress each week, as a way to encourage and motivate them to beat their own time.  I assumed that I would get a lot of push back because the students generally just want to keep on learning more songs and not be bothered with the theoretical aspect of music, mostly because they don't fully understand the importance of applied music theory.

But I was pleasantly surprised to see the younger ones become enthusiastic, and increase their speed in spouting off the names of the notes and locating them on the piano!  But the most wonderful byproduct of this experience was seeing the students become more proficient in their sight reading, and their ability to pick up new music pieces in a shorter amount of time.  I just love watching them master new levels!

Expanding

I took formal piano lessons for about ten years.  My teacher was a gifted musician and able to teach any genre at any level.  She would close her eyes and feel the music; she expected nothing less than beautiful sounds emanating from the piano.  I am grateful for the music foundation she provided for me during those years.  Her main philosophy was for her students to look at the music, read it, play it, feel it, and share it with others.  This is the same way I have approached my students in their learning journey.

I have a younger brother, who also took piano lessons from a different teacher, with a different perspective on how to approach musical learning.  My brother, who is 19 years younger than I am, recently came over for a visit.  As we talked about music and teaching it to our own students, I began to  realize the depth of his knowledge of the relationship between music theory and playing beautiful music as a whole.  While I had learned much theory over the years, I had never been shown the direct relationship between using theory to create music, whether that means I use it to play from a fake book while adding some improvisation or whether I decide to pick a song to learn completely by ear training.

A whole new world has opened up to me in terms of what I can do to expand my own musical knowledge and repertoire; in turn, my students' musical experience will be greatly enhanced.

I have hired my little brother to mentor me in this process; he already gave me homework!

Good Age to Start Lessons

I once had a sweet mom call me on the phone inquiring about piano lessons for her 2-year-old.  "I've been told that he's musically gifted," she kindly explained.  I didn't doubt her words, but I gently explained that the youngest age I begin teaching is for 6-year-olds.

Generally speaking, 6-year-olds:

• Can focus their attention for 30 minutes
• Have mastered their alphabet and are able to understand going forward and backwards alphabetically
• Are capable of motivating themselves to learn and practice
• Can understand the value of seeing results from hard work and effort

There are many wonderful piano teachers out there who are able to teach younger students and help them be successful; my little brother started taking lessons at the wee age of 4, and is a well-rounded and experienced musician at the age of 16.

Should I Buy A Piano?

This is one of the most common questions I get from parents at the first lesson.

While I believe that listening to the pure sounds of piano strings cannot be replaced by anything electronic, I actually suggest that parents wait to make the big investment in a real piano.  Just like adults, children are [usually] very excited and motivated when starting new things; piano is no exception!

I encourage parents to start out with something very simple and cheap, a small electric keyboard; not a toy, but a small scale electric piano.  I would even go as far to say check out a few garage sales or ask a relative if you can borrow it for a couple of months.  Parents should then wait several months, to observe whether this is just a passing interest or whether the child is progressing and committed to long term music lessons.

One of the best ways to find a piano is to contact a local piano tuner, and ask if he knows of anyone selling a piano.  My favorite tuner gave me these tips to pass along to used-piano-shoppers:  Never buy a piano that is out of tune (sounds kind of "honky"), or a piano that has been stored in a room with extreme weather conditions (drafty room, garage, close to a window, etc.).

Practice Time = Pulling Teeth?!

After the excitement of starting piano lessons has faded, the parents realize that getting the child to practice is actually a problem.  It's completely normal, but children are often excited by the idea of actually being able to play music, but are not so motivated to practice.  It also becomes frustrating for the parent who doesn't know how to read music, when the child declares, "You're not my teacher.  You don't know that this is how I'm supposed to play it."  And the child is right to a point, but this can often leave the parent frustrated or helpless in the process of guiding their children through the musical journey.

In order to try and make this as smooth as possible for both parents and children, I encourage a chart for kids to put stickers on for each day that they practice their music.

Instead of saying that the child needs to practice for a set amount of time, I usually ask that they practice the song(s) we're working on together, 3 times each, for 4-5 days.  The younger the child, the less time they need to spend.  For older children, I push for 30 minutes of practicing 5 days a week.

The other tool I've found helpful is to record the song that the child is to work on, with me giving specific instructions on what they need to focus on, and then emailing that sound clip to the parents.  This helps in eliminating the potential for the child to remind their parents just how un-musical they are!

Finding Their Passion

I recently reconnected with a student who had moved out of state for a few years, but then the family relocated back to the area.  I know this student is shy, but I also wondered if the music we had begun learning was not inspiring him.  I spent part of his lesson explaining the different genres of music and asked which one he'd be excited to learn.  He expressed some interest in classical and blues, but still didn't seem that motivated.


The next week, his mom informed me that he hadn't really been motivated to practice.  But this was the day we would begin learning the blues song he'd chosen.  While I was only going to assign half the song for practice for the week, he insisted on learning the whole son.  Great, I thought, he's enjoying this one.  


Two days later, I ran into his mom at the grocery store. I can't get him off the piano - he loves the music! I was excited for him because I think we've discovered his passion.  Children love the idea of music and knowing how to play it on the piano, but it is not until they own their own tastes for the kind of music they enjoy playing that they actually become musicians.

january blues

It would be easy to start January feeling blue. After all the excitement of learning music to perform for family and friends during the Christmas season, what else is left?
Right in the middle of the Christmas season, I asked each of my students to list off several songs that they might be interested in learning right after the new year. The goal is to have the music ready when they return from vacation. It's amazing to see their faces light up when they see a piece of music that they're not only familiar with, but a song they are ready to learn to play on the piano. Some of the songs chosen include "Tomorrow" from the popular movie "Annie," Fur Elise by Beethoven, Do-Re-Mi from "The Sound of Music" and Heigh Ho from "Snow White."

Providing children with the opportunity to learn the music they love not only boosts their excitement about learning it, but also boosts their confidence by challenging them to move beyond their perceived abilities.

christmas in september

Now is the time to start picking out Christmas songs and other holiday songs that children and families love. It seems very early, however, the more the child is able to master their favorite songs, the more likely they are to share their talent with family and friends when gathered together.

making arrangements

One of the joys I have recently discovered with my students is arranging pieces that they are interested in learning, but haven't quite gotten to a level where they can play even an easy arrangement of a particular song. I made an arrangement for one of my students to play Three Blind Mice using chords. We worked on it during a couple of lessons, until she came in last week explaining that it was a little too difficult for her. First of all, I was so proud of her for even verbalizing her struggle. This is very difficult for some students, because they don't want to look stupid or disappoint their teacher. I told her I would work on a new version for her this week. What I'll do is use thirds and fifths instead of chords, which will only slightly change the way it sounds, but will basically be the same arrangement but at a level that she feels more comfortable with for her learning style and ability at this stage. It's a win-win situation.

flexibility

Summer presents some challenges, as it is a time for fun and carefree living especially for young people. Yet piano requires constant practice, a constant commitment to learn. So when one of my students arrived tired and restless yesterday, I wondered how to best use her time. I could tell her attention span was pretty limited and her emotions were a bit raw.

So we did some theory. She enjoyed the writing exercises, which allowed her to just sit, relax and review the notes on the staff. I even decided to make a game out of one of the theory exercises, which make her perk up a bit and it was a great learning tool. During the last few minutes of the lesson, she had relaxed so that we could work on her music. We only spent 5 minutes on her music playing, but that was what she needed. I wanted her to experience the grace side of music lessons, the side that says Bad days will happen...music can be approached in many different ways to help you feel better. And it did make her feel better. She left smiling.