13 August 2017

Before You Sign Up For Piano Lessons

As a parent of four children, I have often gotten excited about the idea of doing or trying something without engaging my kids in discussion about their thoughts and preferences.  Many times, we have to make decisions about certain activities without talking with our kids because it is a financial burden or it just simply won't work in the schedule.  But when we have the flexibility of time and we are able to work within our budget for these fun activities, it is to everyone's benefit to dialogue about what this activity will entail for everyone involved.

My husband and I recently sat down with our son who absolutely loves playing soccer.  He expressed a strong interest in a local soccer league in our city, but before we signed up and paid in full, we invited him to dialogue about the expectations.

Why was this particular league so important to him?
Did he know that his soccer schedule affects everyone in our family?
Was he willing to give up other fun activities in order to solely pursue this one?
Was he willing to help out even more around the house, since we would be spending more time driving him to practices and games?

We knew this was important to our son, but we also needed him to understand the sacrifices we are making for his benefit, because we want to help him pursue his passions.  However, we needed him to understand what we need in return for the time the rest of the family is investing.

How does this relate to piano lessons?

How many parents have great intentions and plans for their kids? Almost every single one of us falls into this category.  But before signing up for lessons, ask your child what their expectations are.

Do they know that playing piano requires practice almost daily?
Do they understand the sacrifice of time and money that you will be making for them to pursue this activity?  In turn, what will they agree to do to show their commitment?
Is there an agreed upon time frame, a trial period, to see if this arrangement is working or needs adjusting?

If these expectations are not discussed ahead of time, you may be setting yourself up for a nightmare experience.  The worst case scenario is that your child hates music lessons!  Parents with good intentions sometimes forget to check in with their kids to see if this is something they would like to pursue for themselves, not simply because the parent wishes he/she had taken lessons as a child and will make sure their child doesn't "miss out" like they did.

Forcing someone to learn music is not beneficial for anyone involved:  the student, the parent, and the teacher.  There are times, of course, when our children don't want to practice or fulfill their commitment to a particular event or activity.  But holding our kids accountable to keeping their word or commitment is completely different than forcing our children to participate in something they did not ask to be part of.

Engage your child and see if taking piano lessons is his/her passion before making that call, and then discuss the expectations so there are no surprises.  This will bring peace of mind to you and your child.  And who doesn't benefit from a little peace of mind?
photo credit: clappstar Soccer Dribble Stretch via photopin (license)


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